Alison Garwood Jones

Spotlight: Growing Pains

April 16, 2012



Alice grows too tall for the room, from "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," 1891 by Lewis Carroll. Illustration by Sir John Tenniel.

SPOTLIGHT is Society Pages’ newest column focusing on questionable occurrences. Read other columns here.

A dozen years ago, when the thought of becoming an academic art historian had lost its luster, I found myself throwing all of my investigative energy into a more personal story. This was back when I was trying to break into journalism, with no degrees or contacts, and pitching stories like, “I grew an inch in a week and, God Almighty, it hurt.” (Aside: it took me another 4 years of pitching and flailing to call myself a journo).

Still, it’s true. I grew an inch in a week and I’ve always insisted that the pain I felt in my spidery arms and legs coincided down to the minute with the moment my limbs were taking off in all four directions. For about a century, though, the idea that kids could feel themselves growing made the white coats smile and shake their heads. As a result, growing pains took pride of place next to the dreaded ice cream headache as these perplexing, slightly silly tales worthy of Newbery Medals, but serious scientific attention? No.

Yeah, whatever. All I know is that after a few years of crazy growth spurts, I crested at 6’1″ by grade 10 and the rush to recruit me to play on the basketball and volleyball teams was on. That happened before it was determined if I had any talent. And I remember thinking, for the first time, how invested everyone seemed to be in the idea that height=power. It’s in our DNA. It’s why tall people are hired faster than shorter ones, and paid more too — except if you’re a writer. Then you sit for most of your life (making you as tall as a child), and take peanuts for pay because you’re powerless to do otherwise. It’s like juvenile detention … the bastards.

I should probably cool it and just tell my story.

As it turned out, volleyball was a natural fit for me since I was good at racquet sports and I loved finishing points off at the net. But basketball was a disaster. For whatever reason, my head and body never came together on the court. Instead, I inspired a wave a snickers in the bleachers for my signature technique. “Windmill arms,” someone shorter and sportier called it. “What …” I stared back with a glare so stern it could have turned our school mascot (a Trojan warrior) to stone. But not the peanut gallery. They just grinned back.

Twenty five years later, I still find myself reading Wikipedia entries trying to understand what centre forwards are supposed to do. Apparently high school trauma never fades.

Here’s how it went down: back in the summer of ’82, when Whitney Houston was a junior model for Seventeen magazine and Princess Di was a walkabout rockstar, I was not so patiently waiting for the transistor radio pressed to my ear to play Men at Work or the J. Geils Band again. I was also completely dreading bed time because it meant another possible invasion of the body stretcher. Friends suggested I was achy a lot because I was playing too much tennis, and my muscles were overworked …

 

… but, no, that wasn’t it.

For four nights running the ache in my limbs came in waves around 3 am. I remember folding my legs up under my chin and trying to rock away the pain, then stretching them out and rubbing the length of my shins and thighs until I imagined I saw sparks. My mewing woke the entire house, turning my brothers over in their beds and sending my parents from room to room gathering up the necessary rescue gear: two heating pads plus an extra heavy blanket to weigh them down, and a Dixie Cup filled with cool water for taking the aspirin nestled in my mother’s extended palm. Mum and dad always tag-teamed on these nights, taking one leg each. “I’m growing,” I said with the kind of fury women, mid-delivery, save for their husbands (OK, so I exaggerate, but it was intense). Mum and Dad kneaded my muscles and didn’t question the cause. Neither did I.

Every time this happened — I grew over two feet between my tenth and fifteenth birthdays — my dad and I would meet before breakfast the next day for a “height-in,” similar to a jockey’s weigh-in. I’m sure it appealed to the side of him that was into sports stats and breaking records. We used to watch ABC’s Wide World of Sports together, a show that threw in words like “agony” and “human drama” into its classic opening montage, the one with the thunderous kettle drums and Jim McKay’s frantic voiceover accompanying clips of Indy crashes, World Cup wipeouts and Russian weight lifters shaking under barbells bigger than truck tires. At the height-in, Dad would slide a Bic pen over the crest of my skull and carve a blue notch on the wood inside of the cupboard door housing my mum’s winter coats. “Up an inch,” he’d say before carefully writing the month and year beside the notch. Now as my brothers and I start the sad task of cleaning out our childhood home, I wouldn’t mind claiming that door.

Whitney running through the pages of Seventeen.

If we can feel the push of a new tooth, the pinch of ovulation, and the itch and stab of multiplying cancer cells, why not the accumulation of healthy bone cells as they barrel forth ahead of attached muscles and tendons? This is what I was thinking as I looked for clues in the medical journals stacked up around me.  Surfing online pulled up nothing of consequence on growing pains back in 2000, so I relied on actual visits to the University of Toronto’s Gerstein Science Library to find answers.

And here’s what I confirmed: children really do grow at night. The pituitary gland shoots human growth hormone (HGH) into the bloodstream in rhythmic pulses during the deepest stages of sleep, between about midnight and 4:00 am, which is when kids wake up with complaints of sharp intermittent cramps in their legs and occasionally arms, groin, back and shoulders. I learned that it takes the body between twenty minutes to half an hour to metabolize human growth hormone, the same amount of time that a “growing pains” episode lasts.

That’s when I began studying this twenty minute time period even closer. I wanted to find out what our bodies are doing while they’re using and absorbing human growth hormone, and if anything about this process might register with our senses — making some of us go, “Ouch!” The oft-repeated line by paediatricians that growing was “a silent and imperceptible process” felt wrong, quite frankly. Body wisdom told me otherwise. I abandoned the idea that growing pains stemmed from realtime stretching muscles and overtaxed tendons — too cartoonish, too Incredible Hulk. My research seemed to point to another, less obvious, culprit. When a diabetic friend of mine told me one day that her legs ached when her blood sugar was high — “like when I had growing pains” — DING, DING, DING,  I wondered if high blood sugar levels might be to blame for my nighttime pulsating ache?

My focus turned to the side effects of high blood sugar. I learned that when HGH is released into the bloodstream it temporarily raises blood sugar levels, first by instructing the liver to make more sugar, then by convincing the muscles to get their energy from free fatty acids instead of sugar. With nothing to do and nowhere to go this rejected sugar makes it was back into the bloodstream at which point the pancreas senses an imbalance and tries to correct the high sugar levels by throwing insulin at the problem. But the muscle tissues couldn’t care less; for this short period of time — twenty minutes or so — while they are feasting on free fatty acids, they stubbornly ignore the incoming insulin which only makes the pancreas release more of the stuff. Again, I wanted to know how the body reacts to this struggle, producing an uncomfortable side effect? Does high blood sugar feel the same in all of us, whether we’re diabetic or not? I even started wondering is growing pains was like a case of temporary diabetes?

With the help of my Complete Home Medical Encyclopedia I ran my finger down the list of possible symptoms for hyperglycaemia (high blood sugar), past extreme thirst, frequent urination, weight loss and impaired vision until I landed on “leg cramps.” Bingo! Then I got my diabetic friends involved in a completely unscientific survey (I surveyed three people). “Have you ever had leg cramps?” I asked without telling them why I wanted to know. “When do you get them and how feel?” I learned from my friends that achy legs is one of their first symptoms when their blood sugar begins to climb. One subject, a friend at work who had Type 1 insulin-dependent diabetes, began reporting to me every time she had achy legs. “Test your levels! What are you at?” I asked. She consistently read between 10 and 12 mmol/L on her hand-held glucometer. Normal blood sugar readings are between 3 and 6 mmol/L. Being a doctor, I had no idea if her accompanying leg aches were related to her high blood sugar levels or poor circulation, another side effect of diabetes. This friend was new to diabetes — having been diagnosed three years earlier — but she hadn’t been told yet by her doctor that her circulation was suffering, so I stuck to the high blood sugar diagnosis.

Now I was thinking, I need more proof. All I had to do is convince doctors to equip parents with glucometers. That way, when their non-diabetic children woke up in the middle of the night because their legs hurt they could take on on-the-spot blood sugar reading. If enough kids consistently registered above normal blood sugar readings (i.e. above 6), I may have just solved the mystery of growing pains.

Mary Cassatt, Mother and Child

But parents aren’t just curious to know what causes the pain, they want to know how to relieve it, or, better yet, prevent it. In 1988 Drs. Maureen Baxter and Corinne Dulberg, in co-operation with the University of Ottawa and the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario, published what is now a frequently cited study in the Journal of Pediatric Orthopaedics. It claimed that kids with “growing pains” who performed regular muscle stretches at bedtime “showed more rapid resolution of their symptoms over an 18 month period” than kids who did nothing. But the doctors had no explanation as to why, at least at the time. That finding brought me full circle: maybe, I thought, that’s because exercise is one of the most effective ways of lowering high blood sugar. Just ask a diabetic. Apart from dietary changes, exercise is one of the first things their doctors tell them to add to their routine.

Afterword: I sat on my findings for over a decade, became a journalist, travelled the world, moved from one apartment to the next, then dusted off the banker’s box labelled “growing pains” a few weeks ago during a visit to my storage locker. When I went back to Google, now an infinitely bigger search engine than it was in 2000, I discovered that my hunch and my “leg work” were spot on. Since that time, growing pains has been taken up by researchers some of whom, like me, pinpointed complications from high blood sugar as a probable cause. Others, still aren’t sure. I was slightly ticked I didn’t beat them to the punch, but also amazed what focused research and a personal stake in the outcome can lead to. This was no Lorenzo’s Oil, but a fascinating journey for me nonetheless.

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Spotlight: Vanishing accents

April 15, 2012

I’ve been covering music, and especially music and the internet, a fair bit lately. Here’s a piece I published last year that tackles the mystery of singing and accents. Enjoy!

SPOTLIGHT is Society Pages’ newest column focusing on questionable occurrences

In 1981, Sheena Easton was a 22-year old club kid with a glossy pout and a Lady Di shag when she burst onto the American music scene with a finger-snapping tune called “Morning Train.” The song went all the way to Number One on Billboard Magazine‘s adult contemporary chart. But when Easton sat down for her first interview with Entertainment Tonight, the production control room had to post subtitles across her bare shoulders to translate the singer’s accent — a Glaswegian cant so thick it strained Mary Hart’s smile and made TV viewers adjust the antennae on their sets.

The disconnect between Easton’s clear and powerful singing voice and her conversational brogue may have come as a surprise to the viewing public, but it makes perfect sense to voice experts who cite Easton, Liverpool’s Fab Four (that’s right, The Beatles), Sweden’s Ace of Base and Céline Dion, the chanteuse of Charlemagne, Québec, as good examples of strong regional accents that have been neutralized (or Americanized) by song. Diction lessons, mimicry and whip-snapping managers with US dollar signs in their eyes only partially explain this vocal transformation. That’s when I started digging for an answer.

“I’ve heard Chinese school kids with minimal English language skills sing songs in English with almost perfect American accents,” Randy Wong, a Boston-based professional musician and educator, told me in an email when I recounted the Easton story. And that’s because when children sing they rarely act self conscious about forming this mouths into big O’s, says Dr. Brian Hands, weighing in on this mystery. Hands is  a Toronto-based laryngologist and voice care specialist who tends to the voices of COC opera singers, Stratford actors and visiting rocks stars. “You can mask any accent with a large articulator and resonator,” he says.

My reinterpretation of a greeting card, since lost.

Here’s what he means: go on YouTube and watch your favourite singer — pop or classical — and you’ll find, says Hands, that “the best ones open their mouths like they’re going to swallow the stage.” They inhale using their diaphragm and when they exhale into song they promptly drop their tongue, their jaw (the articulator) and their voice box (the resonator), creating as wide a chamber as possible. “Such a large space means they can lengthen the time they hold their vowels, and it’s the vowels that are responsible for carrying the melody and the sound.”

Take Céline Dion. In person, she’s a fast talker with a pronounced nasality (Quebecois vowels are closed and nasal, wah, wah, wah).

Here’s a sample if you need a refresher (“Céline” appears at the 2:30 mark of this spoof about Canadian accents and -isms:

 

When Céline belts out one of her anthems — oh, like, “My Heart Will Go On” — she changes the shape of her vocal tract and stops letting air escape through her nose. “All that extra space and breath goes into managing an open-toned singing voice,” says Lorna MacDonald, a fiery soprano who is a colleague and patient of Doc Hands. “The expanded vowel space in her mouth leads to changes in pronunciation and a greater warmth and back-roundedness more typical of English speech patterns,” she explains. In other words, that process of stretching, rounding out and amplifying the vowels is what anglicizes most regional accents.

When she’s not on stage or in the studio making recordings for the CBC, MacDonald heads up the voice pedagogy program in the music department at The University of Toronto. I met with her at her office which is packed with books, music scores and anatomical models of human heads and chest cavities with brightly-coloured voice boxes caught in the throats.

But there’s one more consideration: accents are also about timing. At least, that’s what Marla Roth, a Toronto speech pathologist told me. “The same thing happens with people who stutter. We’ve found that when they sing, they don’t stall and trip over their words as much.” Everything in normal speech is about timing; you have to hit the right points in your mouth at the right moment. “In singing,” says Roth, the timing and intonation are off from normal speech, and that can result in a new speech characteristic.”

That leaves us, then, with only one mystery to solve. Mick Jagger. How is it that the biggest mouth in rock and roll turned an East London accent into a stuttering southern drawl?

P.S. Steven Tyler, another big mouth, doesn’t work in this story. Despite being from Yonkers he has a standard American accent with a slight tinge of surfer dude, so not much to overcome.

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Idea loop

April 11, 2012

 

The circle of inspiration goes round and round and round.

My thanks to Neil Farber for sending and signing a copy of his latest book, Constructive Abandonment.

And in case you’re wondering how I inspired him

 

 

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Let the games begin

April 10, 2012

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Show me the money ~ Part 3

March 27, 2012

I feel a change in the air. No, not spring. This may be even better than raindrops on tulips and girls in white dresses. The first sign of climate change for freelance writers is emerging for real, and, in a very unexpected twist, the future looks bright. Really bright.

After four decades of earning a buck a word  for writing magazine features — that’s like minimum wage staying put at $1.65/hour — and pocketing 5% of the profits for printed books, writers are now starting to sell their longer articles directly to the e-reading public for more, much more, via the “singles” format available on Kindle, Kobo and iBooks for smartphones and tablets. Writers opting to do this can earn anywhere from 50 to 70 percent of the revenues. That’s unheard of.

Call it yet another example of how the digital revolution is unceremoniously dropping the middle men and women from the equation and paying the people who actually conceive of and create the content a much higher cut. In cases like Kindle, the authors set the price. As the observer.com noted, “the result is brand-based reading, where the writer is the brand.”

And just when I was starting to despise the term “brand,” I love it again!

Yesterday, The Canadian Writers Group (CWG), the agency that represents my work, swung open its doors to a shiny, new e-boutique and introduced the first in a series of non-fiction digital books it plans to sell in 2012. Up top is a picture of its inaugural e-book, Blindsided by Russell Smith, which is now available on Kobo, with Kindle and iBooks soon to follow.

Smith, a novelist and weekly columnist for The Globe and Mail, is a self-confessed partier extraordinaire. For years, he chronicled the underground party scene in Toronto and by his forties was continuing to live like a man half his age, going out every night, revelling in the latest fashions (and the women in them), sipping and sniffing the latest drinks and drugs and falling into bed at sunrise. Rather than eroding his writing, his lifestyle fed it.

But Smith knew something was amiss two years ago when he began to gradually lose the sight in his left eye. Not long after the shade began to fall on his right eye. When one doctor, who knew very little about Smith’s past, suggested that he protect his remaining sight by avoiding certain things — like drugs — Smith began to wonder if his lifestyle had brought him to this point?

For now, Smith has no idea how many more times he’ll have to increase the size of the font on the things he’s reading and writing, or how much further he’ll have to lean in to see his computer screen before the whole picture fades to black. The thought of switching careers terrifies him.

An excerpt from Smith’s story appears in the print edition of the April issue of Toronto Life magazine, which I read in one sitting without blinking, it’s that good. The excerpt is not available online, so I can’t throw you a link. But, you can purchase the full story at Kobo for $1.99. iTunes for news and stories has finally gone from a prediction, first uttered two years ago, to a reality.

Last night I had this vision of Canadian writers stampeding to e-boutiques to sell their work and abandoning the magazines they were once were so desperate to appear in. “Buying into the promise of prestige for a handful of peanuts doesn’t work for us anymore,” I imagined some famous writer uttering into a forest of microphones. Like a movie, panicked publishers lured them back with much, much, much higher rates, and the music swelled.

It would be amazing if the internet finally righted this wrong. As Derek Finkle, the founder of the CWG (a superhero to many of us who write for a living), told the Quill & Quire‘s Jason McBride, “No one is fostering and paying talent in this country.” Major American magazines pay writers three to 10 times as much as the most profitable Canadian publications. But here’s the kicker:

“Finkle can imagine publishing, say, a controversial story about a Bay Street law firm that would potentially be downloaded by tens of thousands of lawyers taking the train home from work, with each reader actively contributing to the writer’s bottom line. ‘It’s that subversive,’ he says. ‘It’s an entrepreneurial opportunity that magazine writers haven’t had before. If you can make $40,000 on a story, that’s a game changer.'”

 

 

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Wannabe what?

March 24, 2012

When you commit ass to chair, things happen.

Writing is about showing up and seeing what you’re made of. It’s about the pain of discipline — much preferable to the pain of regret — and pushing forward regardless of your solvency or the state of your personal life.

It takes patience and lots of experience with failure to realize that good writing comes from bad writing (thanks Donna Morrissey)

These ruminations prompted me to conduct an informal survey: from what I can tell, many of my  favourite writers aren’t using social media like they’re told they should.

Anne Michaels, who says she “reads and writes to hold another human being close,” isn’t on Twitter. Neither is Paul Auster (who is said to have uttered the solvency comment above).

Sure, their publicists have pushed them to set up fan pages on Facebook. And ardent readers take great pleasure in maintaining Twitter streams so they can broadcast their serendipitous encounters with their favourite authors in airports, grocery lines and adjacent bathroom stalls. But the writers themselves aren’t streaming their conscience in real time.

The overshare is unthinkable for some people. They’re the ones who remind us that profundity is better housed between two covers. It’s something we should have to dig for. It defies a keyword search. Here’s what E.M. Forster told a bunch of students in 1927: “Books have to be read (worse luck, for it takes a long time); it is the only way of discovering what they contain. A few savage tribes eat them, but reading is the only method of assimilation revealed to the West.”

If you don’t think this is true, then why do we feel an afterglow the moment we finish a good book?  Internet searches — even fruitful ones — leave us feeling queasy most of the time. Display resolution isn’t the only thing putting us in a mood.

Auster and Michaels are part of a small fringe element who aren’t on Twitter because they’re not buying it (of course, this is my take on their elusiveness). They’re distinct from that other sub-set of holdouts — old media stars who avoid all forms of social media as one-person protests against change. The first group feel powerful, the second just impotent.

Powerful writers, like Michaels, know how to pace themselves and where to throw their energy. They don’t spray the universe with half-baked ideas. But they’ll spend hours with students and fellow writers, connecting with them and reaching out to offer an encouraging hug. Yes, the formidable Anne Michaels is a hugger. I witnessed her generosity last week and didn’t see anyone skulking off to stare at their smart phone while she was in the room.

The rest of their time is spent offline, connecting with themselves (not with strangers), and writing what they know of life and love. We are the beneficiaries of their solitude.

As publishing changes — and drastically so — it pays to be intimately aware of the new landscape.  And I’m guessing they’re keeping watch.

I’ll always applaud blogging for surpassing paper in its reach — I’m talking to you, aren’t I? — but tooling around is still just tooling around. The difference between Auster, Michaels and the rest of us (other than talent, which is the understatement of the century) is that they know how to say No.

The rest of us are mere pawns, unless we choose not to be.

 

 

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Hot off the press

February 27, 2012

 

My thanks to Sarah Richardson, Tommy Smythe and Kate Stuart for being such great interviews. Here’s their latest creation, a row house in London, England, featured in the March 2012 issue of Canadian House and Home. I called it  London Calling.

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Comeback Kid

February 23, 2012

When Delia Martins talks about her work as a hairdresser, her voice revs up like an engine. “Hairdressers are artists. We sculpt, we carve, we notch, my point cut, we slither and twist,” she says, dancing on the spot. “It’s all about flair and using your design sense.” Next, ask her about hair colour and her twitchy energy shifts into an even higher gear. “Oh yeahhh, the reds, the caramels, the golds. I love the before and after and being able to make heads turn.”

Listening to Martins describe her craft, you’d never guess she is blind. The 46-year old owner of Pro Hair Design, a salon in the Georgetown Marketplace Mall, 40 km northwest of Toronto, lost her sight after a double retinal detachment. It started with her left eye in 1993, followed by her right in 2004. Both times Martins was standing behind her chair working on a client.

“It was just like a curtain falling down,” she tells me as I take a seat in her chair. She’s distracted momentarily. “Wow, your hair is very uneven, Alison. Are you cutting it yourself?” she asks, pulling at clumps on the either side of my head, like mismatched devil’s horns. “Yes,” I reply. “Well, don’t,” she counters, before getting back to her story. “Anyway, I had no idea what was happening to me the first time I lost my sight,” she says. “The second time, I was like, ‘Oh my god, it’s the retina!’ So I quickly finished my client’s hair, grabbed my car keys and told the girls, “I gotta go. Watch the store. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.'” Martins dashed out of the salon and drove herself home. “It was coming down slowly,” she says, recalling the loss of her sight in her one good eye. “You just have to drive with your head up a little.”

The retina is a light-sensitive membrane lining the inside of the eyeball. It’s as thin as Saran Wrap (or “cling film” for my British readers) and works like the film in an old-fashioned camera, receiving images produced by the lens. Every year, about 10,000 Canadians go blind when their retinas detach from the vitreous, a thick, jelly-like goo that fills the back of the eye. A blow to the eye can cause this, but so can diabetes. These are actually the two most common causes of retinal detachments. Severe myopia (near-sightedness) has also been known to liquefy the vitreous until the retina bubbles and lifts. Martins’ doctors think this is what happened to her both times.

Ophthalmologists often compare retinal detachments to a tear in wallpaper: what starts out as a pinprick-sized hole quickly turns into a blister that spreads until the entire sheet of paper is falling off the wall. Before this happens, response time is crucial. “If detachment starts at the outer edge of the eye, we like to catch it within six to ten hours,” says Dr. Alan Berger, ophthalmolgist-in-chief at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto. Berger operates on a couple of patients a week for detached retinas, most of them between the ages of 40 and 70.

In the crucial hours following Martins’ second retinal detachment in the summer of 2004 — the one that left her completely blind — a number of obstacles got in the way of her sight being saved. When she got home from work that day, she phoned her dad in a panic and asked him to drive her to the emergency walk-in clinic at nearby Peel Memorial Hospital in Brampton, Ontario. Martins opted not to call her fiancé, a contractor, since he was on a job site, or her oldest son, who also had his drivers license, because he was still in school.

By the time Delia Martins and and her father, Manuel, arrived at Peel Memorial, the walk-in clinic it was packed. They waited four and a half hours before a GP on duty could examine her. Shining a light on her cornea, the doctor informed Martins, a mother of two, “You’re just tired,” then asked, “Are you partying a lot?” He led her back to the waiting room and said. “Go home and get some sleep, and tomorrow you’ll wake up as good as new.” Martins was flabbergasted. Not only had this doctor just insulted her, but ignored what body wisdom told her was a second retinal detachment. Statistics show that the chances of a second retinal detachment increase by 15 percent when a person has already gone through the same thing in the other eye. Not knowing who else to turn to, Martins did as she was told and left the hospital on the arm of her dad.

The next day, Martins phoned her friend Debbie and they drove out to the Heart Lake Medical Centre in Brampton. Again, they faced a waiting room overrun with the sick and injured and their crying kids. Martins remembers pleading with the receptionist to get her in immediately. “I tried to explain that my retina had detached before and I thought it was happening in the other eye, but she just told me to take a seat and wait my turn.” The two women sat for about half an hour, but couldn’t stay any longer. “Debbie had food in the oven. We had to leave.” By then, Martins had well surpassed the six to ten hour time frame needed to save her eyesight.

Still flailing over her options, Martins remembers calling her dad again the following day and asking him to drive her to Acton, Ontario, to her optometrist, Dr. John Pond. “It took us three hours to get there,” she says. “Dad got lost on the way.” Pond examined Martins’ eye and immediately referred her to a specialist in Guelph. A taxi was summoned and Martins’ and her dad were whisked off to the doctor in Guelph who examined her, called a second taxi and instructed that driver to take the pair to the Richard Ivey Eye Clinic in London, Ontario. Much later that afternoon, a surgeon in London attached a silicon band (called a scleral buckle) around Martins’ right eyeball in an attempt to push the wall of the eye back against the retina. But he soon realized it was too late to do any good. When the bandage was removed, all Martins could see was a shimmering halo of light.

Two months later, in October 2004, in a final attempt to restore her sight, Martins went back to the same doctor in London for a second procedure called a vitrectomy. The plan was, he would remove the scarred vitreous jelly from the centre of her eye — caused by the unsuccessful attachment of the eye buckle — and replace it with fresh saline solution. Martins bled so heavily during the procedure that the doctor mistakingly sewed the scarred vitreous to her pupil, causing her excruciating pain. “Even with Demerol, it got to the point where the pain was so bad I lapsed into a nervous state. My sons would find me hiding in closets. I was suicidal,” she told while we sat eating fries at a table in the food court just outside her salon.

Martins’ family and friends quickly rallied, taking turns watching her around the clock. Her friend Marg Clegg, an office manager in Brampton and a longtime client, began making regular visits to her home. One in particular stands out. During a pause in a long and winding conversation about the randomness and unfairness of life, “Delia reached out and touched my head,” recalls Clegg. “‘Let me do your hair, Marg,’ she said.”Martins led her friend to the salon chair in her basement. “She felt her way through my trim,” recalls Clegg. “I watched what was happening with tears in my eyes.” Martin wet Clegg’s hair, divided it into sections, then went around her whole head pulling up strands through her comb. Each time, she brushed her palm against the ends to judge the length before running her scissors across in a series of clean snips. Clegg was Martins’ first client since losing her sight. “When Delia finished, I said to her, ‘I think you’ve done a better job now than you did when you could see!” They both cried.

It was a seminal moment. Still, at the time, Martins didn’t have the strength to capitalize on it and go back to work. “Oh god, no. I was too depressed and too out of it,” she says. Martins was also ashamed of her appearance. A few months after the second London operation, her right eye began to atrophy and sink into her face. Martin’s eyes, once big and brown, had been her best feature. And even though she couldn’t see the changes, she could feel her face changing shape. It was devastating.”I’m in the beauty biz. I was puffy and bruised, and my face was deformed on one side. I looked like a monster.” She also had constant migraines” For the next 18 months, Martins stayed at home and tried to regain her strength. Her biggest struggle, emotionally, was coming to terms with the idea that the life she had been going for — and recently achieved — was gone forever.

Pro Hair Design was the culmination of a dream. The 800-square-foot store cost Martins $150,000 when she bought it back in 1999. “I didn’t rest until I got saved enough for the down payment,” she says. “I wanted to show people I could own my own business.” After graduating from beauty school in 1982, Martins worked as a junior stylist for several years, got married, had two sons, then opened a window business with her husband. When the marriage fell apart in 1995 — “He gave up on us. I have no idea where he is.” — Martins worked a series of jobs to make ends meet. She was a banquet server at a country club, a flight attendant on National Air followed by Air Canada as well as a collections officer, tracking down everything from unpaid mortgages to DNA samples. Through it all, she continued to do hair part-time, inviting clients over on weekends to sit in the chair in her basement. Clegg was one of those early clients. She and Martins have known each other for 17 years. “For Delia, the idea of losing her business this way, after struggling so long to make it happen, was just devastating to her,” says Clegg.

The turning point for Martins came late one afternoon almost two years after she went blind. “It sounds so stupid, but I was lying on the couch listening to an episode of Dr. Phil.” Ever since she stopped working at the salon and picking up after her kids at home, Martins started gaining weight and was now at risk of developing Type-2 diabetes, according to her GP. Still, her situation wasn’t half as bad as the woman sitting across from Dr. Phil. “This woman was 700-pounds and blamed her massive weight gain on a spider bite — a frickin’ spider bite!” says Martins, raising both hands. By the end of the program, Martins could barely breathe she was laughing so hard. “Screw that!” she announced to the empty house. “I’m going back to work.” The next morning, her fiancé drove her down to the salon.

At first, Martins had to feel her way around the store. “I was bumping into things and counting the number of steps back to my chair,” she says. She quickly determined that organization was key to her comeback. Everything — brushes and combs, scissors and clips, spray bottles and blow dryers — had to have a designated place. Next, Martins took some puffy felt letters from a kids alphabet set, a dollar store find, and stuck them on all of the product bottles. “SG” for the “spring gold” hair dye. “SB” for summer beige, and “BV” for a Katy Perry-esque shade of “blue violet.”

Being blind wasn’t the only challenge Martins faced. During her nearly two-year hiatus, she entrusted her business to a long-time friend and fellow stylist who proceeded to place double and triple orders of products under Martins’ name while he set up his own salon in Brampton. Sensing that things weren’t adding up, Martins arranged for an audit, prompting her entire staff to walk out on her shortly after she returned. Once again, what kept Martins going was the encouragement she got from her family — “my rock” — her regulars, like Clegg, and the pure joy she got from styling people’s hair. “I used to joke that I could cut and colour with my eyes closed,” says Martins, ignoring the spooky irony. Martins has since hired an enthusiastic team of young stylists she calls, “my eyes.”

Standing behind her chair, Martins is back where she belongs. When I sit down for a trim, she runs her fingertips lightly over my facial features. “You have a slightly heart-shaped face, high cheekbones and a long neck,” she says. “I think you should grow your hair out a bit on top, then go for feathered ends,” she adds, scrunching and tugging at my overgrown pixie cut. That’s the moment when she notices how uneven my cut is and that I’ve been cutting it myself (every stylist’s worst nightmare). She reaches into her top drawer and pulls out her scissors. “Just you wait, I’ll give you a custom-designed Alison haircut. You’ll look amazing.” And I believe her. As Martins works on my head, she chats about her life and asks me plenty of questions about mine. “What’s your job like?”  “Do you ever get writer’s block?” And, “What do you mean you’re not married? With that face?”

Just as men meet at pubs, women go to beauty parlors to be waited on, to trade stories and go over the milestones and monotonous details of life. “I had so much to do this morning,” says Martins, tilting my chin to the side. “I was up at six doing laundry and cleaning the house. Then I made shepherd’s pie for dinner.” She says she prefers to do her chores in the morning. “It’s quieter, less chaotic.” Brushing the clippings of hair off my shoulders, Martins, without warning, breaks into Céline Dion’s, “I’m Your Lady.” You know the one: “Cause I’m your la-a-ady, and you are my ma-a-n.” I’m embarrassed, but she isn’t. She may be wildly out of tune, but the force of her energy fills the store. Dion, Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman are her angels, she says.

Martins also regularly talks to The Man upstairs, the same one she railed against during her recovery. Scripture is like a lullaby to this ex-Catholic, onetime Jehovah’s Witness and current convert to evangelism and self-help. She listens to audio recordings of The Bible and “The Secret” on her phone. “One day I want to get my pastoral license and preach,” she says. “I want to apply what I know and encourage others to never give up.” Martins grabs a hand mirror and twirls me around in her chair to show off her work. “Check out the back,” she says, handing me the mirror. “It’s like I can see, don’t you think? I’m telling you, nothing is impossible. Just look at me … and you!”

 

 

 

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Swan song

February 19, 2012

Vocal brilliance and a regal bearing crowbarred their way back into a tragic life right to the end.

I had no idea Whitney Houston recorded this in 2009.

I gave up on her years ago.

 

 

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Thanks for tuning in

February 6, 2012

When I started this blog, I didn’t know what would happen, what I would say or who would listen. I still don’t.

Last spring, I noticed a spike in my traffic from Québec and it took a while before I realized my posts were lighting up computer screens in dorm rooms at Bishop’s University in the Eastern Townships. Lennoxville, to be exact.

“My students have been talking about your blog in class and asked me to invite you to speak at SWEET, our annual student writing weekend,” Professor Linda Morra told me in an email later that fall. Imagine that, I thought.

Linda’s my kind of gal. She teaches in the Department of English, but combines her love of words with an avid interest in visual arts and cultural studies. Her first book dug into the letters of Emily Carr. Like Vincent van Gogh, Carr shaped her phrases as expertly as she dragged a loaded brush across canvas.

I want to thank Linda, but especially her students, for their enthusiastic support. I look forward to meeting them all next month and to hearing and learning from the talks by the other writers and poets participating, especially Anne Michaels. She’ll be delivering the keynote address.

There’s also poetry slam scheduled. I’ve never been to one of those …

 

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